Back Home and Reflections....

It's nice to be back. Sort of. I loved our vacation. 

It's good for me to get away, to spend more "fun" time with my family, away from daily schedules and all the little stresses that come with it.

And I love the coast and beach. It's just so big and awesome.

I like to sit at sunset and just take in all the glory. The colors, pink skies and blue water, streaked with orange, gold and silver.

The children are content to play for hours. Little Brother is happy with a shovel and pail playing in the sand. Big Sister likes to get in the water with her board to catch waves. She's turning in to a good little surfer.

My Mother-in-law came out from California to be with us and that was so much fun! The children really enjoyed spending time with her, and she was also a great babysitter allowing us to slip away from time to time for mini dates.

Back at home it's gray and raining, but not too cold. I have plenty of cold weather projects to keep me busy.

My sister told me once that she likes to make the winter go by faster by catching up on all her indoor projects. I like that, and it has helped me deal with the cold days.

And Vitamin D, that helps too. 

Speaking of my sister, she's expecting twins. Boys. I'm so excited! 

I'm looking forward to sewing and knitting for them. 

And being their Auntie!

I am so blessed. I've been thinking about it more lately. And it's not that I have a lovely family, and a nice home, though I do have them!

It is that God has given me his peace and his presence when I'm willing to receive it.

You know, the last few years have been rough. Just so much change, so many unchartered waters.

My confidence has been shaken, I've had much of what I thought I knew suddenly put in to question.

It was scary at first, then I remembered who gives me ultimate peace. And he has been faithful to me time and time again. 

And now, looking back, having gone through the roughest part, I'm thankful for this. 

I think that this is what it means to be victorious in trials. 

I'm not saying this to bring up any differences that we may have, but instead, to encourage others that are struggling.

I've learned that no matter what happens, I have a Father who loves me. Nothing can change this, not even my own doubts.

I have questioned a lot, and I'll be honest, even questioned God. But I know that he understands me and my questions.

 That his love for me is because I belong to him, not because I am good.

This is how I feel towards my own children, but I still struggle to accept this from God.

I've learned that when you're in the middle of the storm, all there is to do is hold on. And that's all he wants us to do. It's kind of hard to have perspective when you feel like you're drowning. 

The perspective comes later. And that is part of the plan.

And that he may not make it go away, but he will go through it with us, if we want him to.

And the pure joy, and peace that comes in the middle of pain is only from him. 

I want my children to see that when I fail them, God won't.

To look for that relationship with him that will weather all storms.